lyrics(ick)

Roach Clip

im dyslexic with autistic demons
my pants run red with lucifer’s tears
you gotta pick your battles
and this here’s my waterloo

i lap from the
pool of septic reason
i crawl ‘neath the lowest rung
the concierge is stricken with dwarfism
and the prisons run over with presbyterian cysts

we’ve fallen
the axe we sharpen
blades and tongues
traipse in the penal colony
you’ve erected in your pants

Lester is Balding

west of our divide
the river runs plaid
and hey, do you ever talk
to that sonofabitch with agnostic leanings
who passes the doochee down the lefthand side?

the jewels of your crown
overriden with herpal fear
treason is your tunic
your boyfriend will die by my hand

this—your trifecta sans part un and deux
yer guess is as bad as mine
my finger on your troix
ill see you on the dark side

cos protestants never sleep

Separate Waves

im one hell of a liar
but ill tell you one thing
there’s at least 10 things i told the truth about
as far as your step momma knows

maybe you and i have gone as we can (go)
time for a reprieve, time for a break
cuz this here thirst only cheap trick can slake
and maybe your brownies are finally ready to be baked

it’s the balls, shaft, and the pussy’s wrath

losin track of what im trying to say
we know major tom is a junk-ay
fuck it, let’s go our separate ways
if tupac were here, what would he say?

fuck it, let’s go our separate ways

i think i love you but you said you’re gay
fuck it, let’s go our separate ways

if hate were a ship you’d be the poseidon adventure
last, same as first, let’s go our separate ways

let’s go baby, our muthafuckin separate ways

Best Seller

i could kill your ass
and burn your head over a southern bridge
hang your belly button from a tree
itd be a best seller

i could tell the truth about the government
they dont care
just having fun
itd be a best seller

and i could tell the truth about aliens
and how two grams will get your killed
itd be a best seller

best seller
best seller
i could write a best seller
baby, i could write a best seller

dont you ever wish
you could be in a movie credit list
frm a made-for-TV movie
about you and me?

baby, baby, we could be a best seller

let me take you to laser rush

(i think i et at home)
there are three things a man’s got to learn
while he’s waiting for his father to die
or his woman to leave
whichever comes first

like his guts rotting
there’s a first time for everything
believing youre a winner
just doesnt make it so

was here at 1 am last time
and i dont remember any goddamned grand prize
she’s the perfect woman
no questions asked

but i ordered about two hours ago
and by now the shakes are slowing down
so maybe we should skip the drink
and just talk
about what the fuck
you were really made for
(what were you made for?)

we just need a name for it now
part II of the historical dirge trilogy

soon as i get hold of this one,
it’s goin down
ive heard that before
we dont need that shit
we’re lo-fi
go ape shit

this here samba
she’ll make you rumba
no watergate references here
so take the teapot dome
caligula’s got call waiting
forget that fucking dreyfuss affair

youre a $1000 waitress but a $30 whore
calm down a little baby
big jim’s been here before
put the jew behind the pig
and the pig behind the creep
no one will ever know you suck
let me get some sleep

some fat guy named vance
got his hands on some cuban loose-fittin pants
aint no pigs at this bay, bitch
i got 1812, so forget the pardon
thanks anyway, gerald
dean’s ready to stool your ass to heaven

alderman’s doin pat and dick is doin elsberg
poor old limp-dick liddy got nothing but his papers
sorry
i think i made a bad turn back there somewhere

the eunuchs sing in unison
austin, texas follows the tower’s shadow
cashed this one out
the gate wont happen for eight years or so
castrated tapes, blank as a fart
the pentagon aint phallic, so whats the point?

look at it right, though
with the gaping white/green hole
itll remind you of the sex object
ellsberg and nixon plunged withe eat into

let’s talk some hardcore porn
the plumbers are coming soon

god bless my vocal timing
gonna die of a vowel obstruction
and my little lady,
she’s got her final requests
and a cemetary need

do i look tired to you?
why dont we turn the lights on here
last rites for the passive verbs
vulgarity, she breeds contempt

and she told me once
or maybe it was four
that the japanese use two baths
and her mother sleeps on the floor
i need someone to shave my neck
got carded when i bought vaseline
gold bless your macramé daishiki
it keeps out the draft

stumbling a bit now
what the fuck - this aint my house
the maker’s mark flowin like wine ...

absinthe

they call me a dick-sucking fool
down at the bar room
but they dont know the real you

(chorus)
asbsinthe and burnt toast
check the safety let’s make a toast
eggs over easy and buttered toast
pearls of wisdom on calamity jane
pearls of wisdom on calamity jane

licked her hair
combed her soft shell eyes
put on some mac davis
rubbed her between the thighs
they call me those things
but they’ve never been to new orleans
new o-r-l-eans
(repeat chorus)

the saddest song ever written

im sick of you waiting
for me to do something
to make this all get better
and you could touch me
you could always touch me
the best way
i don’t want to tell her
sunshine days without you
hotel rooms & bath tubs
masturbation, back rubs
let’s call it a day
let’s call her today
you dial
ill do all the talking
say i loved her once
and now it’s time for walking
but you just sit there
sit there reading your magazine